


I Have So Much Left To Say To You

by feebsluvswolves



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Adoption, Angst, Brothers, Demons, Depressed Scott, M/M, Protective Derek, Submissive Scott
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-23
Updated: 2014-04-23
Packaged: 2018-01-20 11:45:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 909
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1509302
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/feebsluvswolves/pseuds/feebsluvswolves
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>after scotts mom died, scott begins living with derek rather than his father, and a brotherly bond grows between the two of them.  concerns begin to arise however when scott confesses some dark secrets to derek through a letter, and things begin to spiral out of control.  not scerek, slash between scott and an original male character.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Have So Much Left To Say To You

I have so much left to say to you. But I’m afraid. I walked in the door and you tugged me to the table, demanded I sat down and began a rapid fire interrogation. Where have you been? Why weren’t you in school today? What’s wrong with you? Why are you acting like such a punk? It was scary when I didn’t say anything as you bore down onto me, your green eyes burning into my brown ones as you shouted into my face. I didn’t dare move as your spit flew, or as you pulled me from my chair, slamming me up against the wall by my sweatshirt. I’m still shaking from that, even now as I write this letter to you. It’s easier than speaking aloud, the emotions just flow through the ink in my pen, and before I can think twice it’ll be on your bedside as I leave to see him. Why try to say I’m going to school? Why lie? I have to see him or he’ll get mad, and… Let’s just say it’s not smart to make him mad. I could see it in your face, how agonizing it was for you to see me like that, mute and shrunken down. My shoulders hunched, head hung submissively, and flinching back at every swift movement you made and time you raised your voice.

I’m scared OK? Really, really scared right now. I’m scared of two things. Of you, not your anger or rough physicality, I’m used to that, but the fully colored canvas that was your face. I could see your frustration, your fear, your concern, affection, everything, and to be honest it scares the crap out of me. You, the stony emotionless void, were finally letting me look in. You were so confused by my timidity, used to our usual banter where I would sweet talk my way out of trouble with a lopsided grin, innocent puppy eyes, and a quick half bro hug as I’d bolt out the door before you could come up with a response. I was too shocked by the fact that you couldn’t control your emotions to form any words. The questions were really saying,

“Why aren’t you talking to me, confiding in me like you used to?”

“Why are you rebelling and skipping school all of the sudden?”

“Did I do something wrong, did I hurt you?”

“Is someone trying to hurt you, because I have no idea why you’re sitting there quivering and not giving me your snarky comebacks and it scares the crap out of me.”

The real questions painted neon across your face, your fear for me scared me. You never let me in like that and it’s really, really scary. It’s always been about me, never being concerned for yourself. You hide it so I won’t worry. But this time you just couldn’t. After you were done screaming at me, I just couldn’t find my voice. I only stared blankly back at you until you sent me to my room, the frightened look in your eye haunting me. I heard you flop down on the couch, emotionally drained, and I sat on my bed gingerly, curling into a ball. And surprising even myself, I cried. I felt trapped. 

That second thing, I couldn’t tell you, because he said he’d kill me if I said a word and it scared the crap out of me. He backed me into a corner, and now I couldn’t find my way out. It feels like he has eyes and ears everywhere, constantly watching me. He always seems to know where I am or what I did that day before I say a word. He’s always relaxed and confident, his condescending demeanor unnerving, like he knows I wouldn’t dare speak a word of what happens. There’s an easy-going smile as he describes in vivid detail, what exactly would happen if I said anything, laughing because he knows he has me trapped. Sometimes I wonder if he’s even human. His eyes go unnaturally dark for a split second when he’s angry, and that smile of his, just says it all. I know you’re afraid of me; I know you won’t talk, because you and I both know what would happen if you try to step out of line. 

So that’s why, when you came into my room earlier, and sat on the edge of the bed and waited, I pretended to be asleep. I knew if you saw my face, it’d reveal the severity of the situation, and you would coax me into a false sense of security, and have me tell you everything. As I laid there under the covers, tears running down my face, I wanted more than anything to sit up, bury my head in your chest and tell you everything. Let you promise everything would be alright, like when mom died. But I just sat there, let you lean forward, ruffle my hair and listened to you leave the room quietly, defeated. It’s ok though, because my pen exploded onto the paper, splattering all the bottled up emotions and fears I’ve been keeping from you into one little folded up piece of notebook paper, sitting by your bedside as I go see him the next day. I’ll be back tomorrow night, though, and you can coax me into a false sense of security, feed me lies of everything being alright, and I’ll tell you everything.

**Author's Note:**

> for those of you who may have read in the end my other fic, some characters from that will be used in this fic...i do a lot of things with reoccuring original characters. please no haters, constructive criticism is fine, just if you dont have anything nice to say dont say it, or you will be reported. thank you.


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